Posted by: Brenda Kula | July 13, 2008

Life Is A Spider Web

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I know it is hard to see, but this is the spider web I found stretched across my garden pond this gorgeous Sunday morning.

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On Friday morning, I got up and went about my pet chores and such as I always do. (After all that I treat myself to my morning cup of coffee!) I had given Abigail her medication. One of her morning pills is Lasix. It is for her heart and makes her urinate quite frequently for the next two or more hours.

And so I had her in my arms to get past the remodeling mess when a plumbing contractor stopped me in the living room to ask me a question. It seems to be a long-winded question. As I am standing there nodding, I feel this warm liquid spreading down my legs. Down into my shoes with the $30 shoe inserts my podiastrist insisted I buy. Nodding…nodding. Answering questions. Drip, drip…drip.

Finally the contractor handed me his cell phone and said I was to talk to the head Granite Girl, Cherie. I take his phone and (I think I shouted) say (without even the typical hello): "I have dog pee in my shoes!"

There was a moment of silence. I think everyone working in the house heard me. You could have heard a pin drop. Then Cherie goes on as if nothing odd has just happened and relates that I am to go pick out faucets. I tell her I am not mobile for the next two hours, as that is how long the dog will be peeing.

Now I’m sure she doesn’t typically get a client like me who shouts such things into the phone. And I’m sure the plumbing contractor is not accustomed to middle-aged (Is 51 past middle-aged???) women screaming such things into his cell phone.

But ladies, I had pee in my shoes! And $30 shoe sole inserts to boot!

That plumbing contractor would not meet my gaze the rest of the day.

Doesn’t he pee too?

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It’s not as though I can simply put this dog outside and let her pee for two hours and then let her safely back in. My vet has told me that I must accompany her whenever she goes outside, as she is not to get to the point where she is panting. Due to her heart problem. And I live in East Texas. It is hot and humid.

I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in this very desk chair with this dog splayed across my lap typing or talking to all of you via our blogs, and felt my lap fill with warm liquid. That is why I now have a leather chair instead of a fabric one!

Well, she’s at me again. So I must run take her out. You see, it is only 10:21 a.m. I have probably an hour to go yet. And then I too have to pee. I’m sorry if you find me somewhat indelicate. I’ve had my morning coffee. And please comment and inform me differently if you are not human and don’t at times have to pee yourself. 

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Responses

  1. That was a funny post!! made me laugh I could picture it in my mind too!! Who dosen’t have bathroom stories?? One time my daughter and I were traveling and we went to the ladies in a restaurant, and sitting there over the stall comes a flying missle it was a rolled up piece of toilet paper, so we had ourselves a little game and we were giggling like 2 kids, I didn’t know she left her stall and it was taken by another lady , here I am flipping over little wads of tp I finished my business, washed my hands walked out to the car, and my daughter is sitting there, I was mortified and told her drive away fast, I didnt want to see the lady whom I was flipping over little wads of toilet paper. OMG !!! But it makes for a funny story!!

  2. Is it wrong to chuckle?
    Sometimes life is so ridiculous you just have to laugh about it…it keeps you from crying.
    Sorry about your shoe inserts.

  3. Remember that old saying “Sh** happens”? We will just amend it to “pee happens”. I just hope the contractor realized it was the dog, not you peeing.
    BTW, 51 is middle aged only if you are going to live to be 102! But, hey, I’m 52 and still call myself middle aged, so I guess I plan on living to 104!
    Poor Abi, I hope she’s doing ok. Just be thankful there are meds out there that will help keep the babies healthy. I have taken Lasix, I know what it’s like….When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

  4. Hi Brenda

    I can identify with the dilemma, since I have a rather high powered bp/water pill every morning! Throw in J’s current situation and well…I guess you get the picture.

    I just read your comment about the print at the back porch. I use a normal font that is easily readable on my monitor. You might try holding down the ctrl key and scroll the wheel thing on the mouse. I can make the print smaller and/or larger by doing that on my computer. Hope this helps!

    Pat

  5. What a hoot! Of course everyone has a pee or even a poop story but will only share it with their closest friends! Why I remember the time I was in Joanne fabrics when……never mind! The remodel will be worth it in the end. LOL

    I understand your pet situation. We just love them so much that we’ll do almost anything to see that they get what they need.

    You ask about my sidebar design…..honestly I don’t remember where I got it. When I’m surfing the net & I see something that might work I save it in a file for later use.

    Hugs, DebraK

  6. Yikes!
    The things we do for our pets!
    Hang in there. Before you know it you will have a beautiful bathroom! 🙂

  7. Brenda that is too funny. Our last shepherd used to get excited and pee on my feet. I know just how you feel. I frequently yelled, “SAMMY, DON’T PEE ON MY FEET.”

  8. Never a dull moment when you are around. Yesterday’s and today’s posts just cracked me up. I would love to have you as my neighbor. I know you would keep me in stitches.

    Jan
    Always Growing

  9. Hi funny Brenda! What a funny story. I don’t guess you thot is was very funny, huh? Poor little tiny thing – just had to go. The contractor did know it wasn’t you peeing in your shoes, didn’t he? Maybe that’s why he couldn’t look you in the eyes. Now I’m really laughing. Poor poor Brenda! You’ve made my evening! Pee pee!
    Ha ha ha
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia 😉

  10. Well, smack that contractor next time.

  11. Oh Brenda,

    Your post was hysterical. I almost peed myself!

    hugs,
    Barb

  12. Now that is funny. Well it is to the rest of us. LOL. I can somewhat identify.

    I had this little dog, years ago, who was the sweetest little thing but every time this one friend came over, he would pee on his shoe. We could not figure it out. Than one day, I realized that this man always had very shiny shoes on. The rest of our freinds, more or less, wore tennis shoes. I asked him to take off his shoes and come in and see what would happen. He was totally ignored by our Duffy. I guess it was the shoes. Forgiving friend, took his shoes off, after that. LOL

  13. Oh Brenda, I’m sorry about the shoe inserts but that is a comical story. Poor dog, I take lasix too so stay out of my way…or else!

  14. Oh Brenda, I’m sorry about the shoe inserts but that is a comical story. Poor dog, I take lasix too so stay out of my way…or else!

  15. Oh Brenda, I’m sorry about the shoe inserts but that is a comical story. Poor dog, I take lasix too so stay out of my way…or else!

  16. HAHAHA! Sorry, but that’s just funny! Poor little puppy!

  17. You made me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants. The last poodle we had was always dripping, but in your shoes…ugh.

    If this bathroom remodel gets to be too much, my guest room is always open to you and your little dogs.

    Gretchen

  18. It sounds as though every day is an adventure! Remodeling can be like that… I remember when we remodeled a house years ago. My son was about 2 years old, and he was into everything – he had to know what was going on. My husband was up on the roof one day, and he looked over to see Evan’s head peeking up – he had climbed the ladder to ask his dad “what doing?” You can be sure I was glad when that project was finished!

  19. Oh my gosh, that was funny. The things we will do for our dogs. Oh wait, I’ve got to go give Prancer his allergy pill. Sheesh!~~Dee

  20. Hi there,
    this is my first visit and I am laughing my fool head off!
    Sorry…
    NOT laughing at you….
    Laughing with you!

    Love your blog…..

    Sending hugz…..
    Dolly

  21. Holy moly Brenda… You have had a time with this remodel. I can’t believe that broad just kept talking LOL I’ve done things like that myself and they just think I’m nuts. I don’t care either LOL

    Loved your meme 🙂

    hugs,
    rue


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